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I can only rate 90 minutes of 100 minutes of this little nugget of fun thanks to some poor planning by a hooch named Terry. But for 90 minutes, wow. I need to see the other 10 minutes because I feel like my life may be made a little more funnier if I do. Judd Apatow and his little pose better look out, cause there is a new crew in town, and they have bastard babies, ruffalin pills and bearded men that will light you up.
From the get go this film is packed with funny, in fact I don't know if this film has a line in it that isn't qouteable, seriously. Director Todd Philips takes a very cliche premise and moves it to such zany extents that he is able to make the old "what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas" credo and bump it up to "what happens in Vegas is fudging awesome, like Jesus is awesome awesome, YEAH!" The plot revolves around 4 guys going to the sinnest of cities to get weird for their friends bachelor party, upon blacking out they must find where their friend, the groom has gone missing, and make it back in time for the wedding.
The film has so many plot twists and turns that your in the same boat that these guys are the entire time. I normally like to think I can see through to the end of a movie within the first 10 minutes, but no, not the Hangover, I really didn't know where Dougy was. Philips keeps all of these players in check throughout the movie and does not let one out play the other, they are all one big ball of hilarity.
If you have a bladder condition wear a diaper, cause the acting will make you want to relieve yourself right there on those oh so absorbent theater seats, goo. Justin Bartha (Doug) has the smallest of roles but his time on the screen is great, I for one am very happy to see him be making this instead of National Treasure 4: the Search for Curly's Gold in Abraham Lincolns Porn Drawer. Bradley Cooper (Phil) does a great job at playing the underlying ringleader of the crew and keeps it fresh with a serious yet "holy-shit we did that?" kind of attitude. I feel like if this film did happen, this guy would have to actually exist in real life. I am a huge fan of the Office and was worried when I saw Ed Helms (Stu) following in Rainn Wilson's footsteps to turd-city of acting roles (except 5 minutes of JUNO, that was off the chain). Helm's has so much to deal with in the film that he easily could try to express too many emotions and lose his central character role as the guy who plays it safe, but he doesn't, he sticks to his character like Harry does to the Hendersons, and the guy is funny.
Zach Galifianakis needs his own space in this. First because you probably never remember the guy from any other movie/TV show since he is always overshadowed and given crap roles. Secondly because he is a bona-fide funny dude. He plays such an interesting character in this film and does it so well, that to even look away from the screen for a second to sneeze is a big mistake. He plays such a solid role in this film that it would be just another typical zany Vegas experience without this guy...and by this guy, I mean this GUY.
As for the gangle of people that support this mischieve bunch of rascals, Mike Eps was able to make it out of Compton for the other 6 days of the week and was able to give a hilarious performance as Black Doug. Ken Jeong as Mr. Chow gives yet a more over the top delivery, this guy is coming up so look out, I am excited to see him as a main role here in the next several films. Mike Tyson gives a knock out performance as himself, yeah pun intended. Actually I take that back, I just said it for the pun but whatever, he was good enough for the role.
The cinematography was pretty typical Vegas-esque stuff, delivered by Lawrence Sher. I mean the thing is, if you have seen most Vegas movies, you have seen mostly everything shot from every angle there is out there, so it can be hard to top it, but he does a solid job as DP to stay on the same level as his predecessors.
The soundtrack for this film was pretty much the perfect homemade mix tape of Vegas music for our ages (that is people who listen to pop music of today). All the right songs were jammed together and everything went together like a good P.B & J sandwich. Literally if you were going to Vegas this is probably the same exact soundtrack you would listen too, at least that is if your not Danny Ocean, he would probably be more into this.
So yes goes see this movie in the theaters. The ability to be able to quote it with you friends at the bar alone makes it awesome. Not many comedies are worth watching in the theaters these days, but this one definitely is. But make sure you don't make your plans with any hoochs and definitely go for the medium soda, not the collosa-gulp, cause getting up to take bathroom breaks would be a shame.
Banana-meter: 9.0/10 Bananas
Wow. So many feelings, so many questions, so many "manys" that my mind feels like it just got blown into pieces of mush that I don't think it could be put back together. BUT luckily after watching this film, I have learned the secret of eternal life, be JASON STRATHAM, DUH!
Your first question is probably, "Chaps what is the best thing about Crank 2?" Well let me answer that simply by waxing a little intellect and changing the wording of your silly silly question: "What isn't the best thing about Crank 2?" The answer is: NOTHING!
I don't know if you can get much better than this film right here, both directors Neveldine and Taylor need to be falsely worshipped for taking this script (that they wrote) out to a cheap dinner and then back to their parents house for a trip to poundtown. Maybe the only thing that could top it would be if Raptor Jesus and Chris Hanson teamed up and directed a Sex Tape. Seriously this thing is more fun that the first time you learned about masturbation.
Now your probably thinking, "Chaps your being a little crude here." Well guess what kids, Disneyland just burnt to the ground because Mickey Mouse started the flames freebasing behind Cinderellas Castle, The Hate Train just pulled into town, can't you hear it? Chug-a Chug-a HATE! HATE!
This masterpiece crosses all boundaries and thus I must keep with its spirit in writing this review. WARNING! Do not watch this film without the right supplies. Those being as follows: time to waste, enough Redbull to kill, and a suspension of all belief.
So now that we are on the same page, blog, website, line; I'll get back to it. First, visually, this film makes your eyes tingle and you will find yourself with a grin that I thought only methadone could induce. There are so many more zany things in this film than in first the Crank that it is hard to put them down here, but here is a quick run through, Godzilla fighting+grandma humping+naked Amy Smart+gay biker gangs+saline boob shooting+strippers and blow=crank 2. I mean the writers/directors needed at least a shoebox full of coke and more strippers than the likes of shamwow guy can even comprehend in the creative process for this film. All i can say is this is a Disney Movie for adults, yeah the kind where you get to see what Princess Jasmine is really rocking with the Genie shooting Latinos and that little monkey, yeah hes down on the corner slinging meth to some lady named Wanda.
As for the performances, Jason Stratham needs to father my kids. Just watching this dude kick, shoot, and pound the existence out of everything in this film is mind numbing. Chev Chelios (Stratham) is the new Superman, the dude can't die. You can throw the Latin Kings, The Bloods, the Crypts, Chuck Norris, an Asteroid, hell even 1000 monkeys from that movie Outbreak, and Jason Stratham would still be in one piece, I mean the guy has an English accent, those things are like bulletproof and make him sound smart as hell too.
Amy Smart as Eve in this film is amazzzzzzzing. Eve from Crank is the kind of girl that you take home to meet your parents. Eve in Crank 2 is the girl which you cheat on her with while she is in the living room meeting your parents. She takes all previous roles and throws all caution to the wind with this part, and holy shit is it intense. As for the rest of the cast, Doc Miles (Dwight Yoakam) delivers a wicked performance with such great lines as "is doc miles gonna have to choke a bitch." It was so natural i like to think that he gets up every morning and tells his kids that to get them out of bed. Venus (Ramirez) is back in one of the cheapest character introductions as Kaylo's identical brother from Crank. All of the bad guys are too numerous to name but they are all huge scum bags and every time Chevy kills one its pretty gruesome and involves a lot of red tinted corn starch mixed with water.
The cinematography for this film delivered by DP Brandon Trost is the reason there is rehabilitation clinics and shows such as Intervention. I am full phased addicted to this guys work, they should include surgical tubing when you enter the theater when Trost works on something.
As I pound my 6th consecutive Redbull I want to buy a round of hand and foot stuff for the Special FX and Sound Design teams down at Mustang Sallys. There were more explosions, more google maps and more crazy stunts than even Jackie Chan could dream up, on weed. Talk about PUSHING THE ENVELOPE!
Soundtrack, I didn't know where the guitar riffs and breaking bone sounds stop and began. The whole movie was a melody of complete mayhem and destruction. The music was campy and spunky at the same time, it fit together like wrestling coaches and team relations at a Catholic boys school. The soundtrack will get you so amped that you will break something while watching this film, keep all pets out off the room or you might punt the cat.
So how do I wrap something of this magnitude up, how about go fucking see this movie. You need this movie more than Paris Hilton's parents needed a condom. I would seriously urge the distribution houses to start selling this movie with an 8-ball of snow and a booklet containing 1-900 numbers. SO stop reading, rent, buy, bootleg, I don't care, go now.
Banana-meter: 11/10 Bananas
PS. Corey Haim is in this movie, with a mullet, yum.
Benzo and I have decided to pull the trigger and get zany on the internet. He does music, and I do movies, so needless to say, we will be diving into the areas we know and have mild obsessions with. The grammar and spelling may not be superb at times but the content will be there, a diamond is still a diamond even if it is unpolished. Although our creative minds are separated by the mason dixon line phyiscally, our mental collaborative capabilities have never been stronger. Heres our two cents. Word.
PS. for all those wondering about the title, it's a qoute from a roadtrip between four amigos; a hippy, a skateboarder, a frat boy, and a kid with a lot of bracelets on his arm.
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